The cynical optimist

Tonight I wanted to share what may become the prologue to a novel that has been long in the works…I wanted to share it because lately I haven’t been writing, I haven’t had drive or inspiration…And it sucks…

I wanted to share it to get some of what this is all about out into the world maybe then I could know it mattered, that this was all tangible…so here goes nothing…

The Prologue to “Project Phoenix” a Work in Progress:

The warning came quick as a whip in the dead of night. The television in the living room had flickered to life and an alarm blared loudly enough to wake up anyone in the house when the alarm faded away it was replaced by a news anchor wide-eyed and sad.

“Project Phoenix has been approved…it will roll out in 1 hour. Please bring your children under the age of 10 to your designated safe zones, if you fail to comply or do not have a child, then you will be left to fend for yourselves, you will get no aid…Your deaths will serve as a grim reminder that you do not hold the power…that you should not let the poison of hope infect you…That you will lose if you rise…Godspeed.”

Cassie had been watching from the stairwell, not truly understanding the fear she was feeling. She saw her father almost collapse, his hoarse whispers floated to her ear.

“No….I…” he choked back tears and visibly steadied himself, with a nod of affirmation he turned around and headed towards the stairs, Cassie knowing she shouldn’t have heard what she did scrambled back to her bed and pretended to sleep. Though she could not see it, she could feel her father’s eyes on her and she stirred pretending to wake up.

“Daddy?” she asked him “Is everything okay?”

“Yes.” he said his voice betraying his words and unshed tears wetting his eyes. “Of course it is sweetie…but we do have a trip to go on…so we are going to need to get you up and we will get going okay?” he said smiling sadly trying his best to stay strong in front of her.

“We get to go on our own adventure like we’ve always talked about?” She asked him jumping up and hugging him close causing him to choke back his tears once more.

“Yes. Our own little adventure…just you and me till the end.” he said with sadness thick in his voice. “Ready?”

“Ready!” she called out and giggled taking his hand. “Where are we going?”

“Well that would ruin the surprise now wouldn’t it?” He said softly ” We have to be quick we don’t want to be late.”

With that he brought her out of the house, into the brisk early morning air, the cold quickly turned their cheeks and noses red, but they still walked, it would be quicker, to get into the car would be death. 213 wasn’t far away, they’d make it in time and Cassie would be safe…He had dedicated his life to that cause, ever since her mother left…he needed to be the person who cared, he had been the one who loved her, now he had to leave her to the fates and pray these camps would be the right solution…

They walked in relative silence, 15 minutes had gone by when the snow had started to fall, small flakes danced lazily to the ground and he heard her giggle again, he smiled softly, she doesn’t suspect a thing, good…let her young mind not be troubled, let her go into the future unafraid.

They were over halfway there, in fact they could see the chrome goliath in the distance, 213…in all its glory sat just on the horizon, it was no beauty, but it’s promise of a future for the next generation made it shine. He saw her future just past those walls, he saw her safe and happy, and then the wailing began, a sharp cry of panic through the streets, the warning that soon death would reign, soon the planes would fly overhead silent and unseen, dropping their bombs and scorching the earth.

He grabbed her hand harder and ran, not knowing any other solution, the time for false hope and false calm were over, he looked back at her to make sure she was keeping up, she was, but barely, she stumbled over herself and was wide eyed from a fresh wave of panic, so much for facing the future unafraid….In desperation he swung her up and into his arms and sprinted at full speed. There were explosions just beginning in the distance, far off still but closer than he would have ever liked.

“Daddy?!” she called out the cry of terror cutting him to his core.

“Its okay…its okay! Just a little longer..and you’ll be safe.” he said, 213 was right in front of them now, two armed soldiers stood at the doorway.

“Excuse me?!” her father screamed at them. “We made it please!” holding on to Cassie tightly, never willing to let go of her, but knowing if he didnt he would be murdering both of them, his head swam with emotion and thoughts he could not fathom, but when the soldiers reached for Cassie he did the only thing he could do as a father. He let her go. He let her go for safety, he let her go for love, and he let her go for hope. He turned to leave telling himself never to look back because if he did, there was no chance he could stay strong, the last thing he heard before the bombs fell were the high pitched screams for him…good let her hate him, at least she’d live. At least she’d be okay…

Death reigned for the rest of the night, love bowed its head, hope retreated while hate and greed grew. But like all things, locked away a flame still burned, something was stirring in the ashes of humanity, it just needed time to grow into something deadly…