The cynical optimist

I know this is a day late and for that I apologize, but is Part 2 of my Halloween story. I hope you enjoy it! If you didn’t see Part 1 you can read it here Part 1

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“You can take your time…I mean you do now have an eternity after all.” Death said.

Daniel laid still on the ground for a few minutes, trying to put himself back together, all of this was happening too fast and he had hundreds of questions and none of the answers. He felt like everything was falling apart, but the only way he was going to be able to fix it was to get back up so that’s exactly what he did. He looked over at death who had been busying themselves by reading from a newspaper that they had gotten from somewhere.

“Oh, so you’ve finally decided to keep moving? Good, have you figured out where we are now?” Death said with a hint of annoyance in their voice.

Daniel looked around and recognized his elementary school and laughed. “Is that my elementary school?” he said. “I mean that can’t seriously be here, they knocked that down years ago and built little shops right where it used to be.”

“This is your elementary school…from when you went to it, I took you back here because I want to show you something, hopefully it will help you understand. Let’s go.” Death said walking towards the school.

The school was a brick behemoth, reaching up towards the sky. It had intimidated Daniel on his first day and even though he was much older now, he still felt that nervousness in his chest as they walked towards the front doors. When he went to open them his hand went right through the door.

“We are just visitors here, we cannot manipulate the past so this might feel weird at first but just walk right through the door. Follow me.”

Daniel hesitated for a brief second, took a deep breath and walked through. A second later when he opened his eyes he was in the hallways and a wave of memories flooded his brain, but he didn’t understand what this had to do with his death.

“I don’t understand, why did you bring me here?”

“You’ll see soon enough.” Death said rather cryptically. “Just keep watching.”

A few seconds later the bells rang out in the school, the doors opened and kids flooded into the hallway. Daniel watched still unsure of what he was supposed to be looking for but then he spotted himself at 9 years old coming out of a classroom and walking slowly towards the cafeteria, as he was passing the doorway of one of the classrooms he stopped and peaked inside, there was a girl, he had seen her before in the halls or at lunch or as they ran to get picked up from school at the end of the day. She was still sitting at her desk her head hung low and she was wiping tears away from her eyes.

The world had shifted ever so slightly and Daniel saw that Death had brought him inside the classroom so they could see what unfolded.

“Are you okay?” Young Daniel asked the girl as he approached her carefully. The girl jumped and tried to quickly gather her things and her emotions wiping away the tears frantically from her eyes.

“I’m fine.” The girl said bordering on angrily. “Go away.”

“Okay…” The young Daniel said, before leaving the classroom he turned back around looked at the girl and said. “Whatever’s made you sad, like a storm it will pass. So hold on and wait for the sun…I’m not really sure what that means but it’s what my mom always tells me when I’m sad and it helps me, so hopefully it helps you.” And with that he left the classroom and never looked back.

The world shifted once more and they were back on the road, leaving the school and the memory behind them. Daniel looked to Death in confusion.

“Why did you show me that? I should have helped that girl more!” Daniel said.

“You did more than any other child, or adult in that school did. You helped, even though you never knew it…” Death said. “That girl was on the verge of a crisis, her parents were separating, her identity was in question and she used what you said as an anchor and waited out the storm, she went on to have a family, she went on to help so many others, and you are the reason she was able to do so.”

“Really? I’m glad that all worked out for her but I still don’t understand why you showed it to me…”

“Why am I not surprised.” Death said shaking their head and sighing. “Let’s try another…”

The world shifted and turned and Daniel found it was easier to deal with this time and only found himself dropping to one knee. “You’re getting better at this!” Death said.

“Where did you take me this time?”

“Look around.” Death said.

Daniel took in his surroundings and realized he was standing outside his first job. He didn’t have as many fond memories here as he did of his elementary school, this is where he got a glimpse of what the rest of his life would be like. Here he got screamed at by customers for simply doing his job, here he met and made some lifelong friends, but mostly he was miserable.

“Okay, now you’re just messing with me.” Daniel said.

“How long before you realize everything I’m showing you is for your benefit? What would I gain by messing with you?” Death asked him.

“I guess that’s a fair point.”

“Shall we go in then?” Death asked.

“Let’s go.” They were transported inside the building and there behind the cash register stood a teenage Daniel. He looked bored and miserable he was scrolling through his phone absentmindedly as he waited for a customer to come up to the register, the doors opened and the little doorbell noise went off. Teenage Daniel sighed and put down his phone.

“Good Afternoon Sir, how are you?” Teenage Daniel asked the customer as was the store policy.

“Oh…today? not great.” The customer responded he was an elderly man, nearly bald and he was frail, moving slowly and shakily.

“Well I’m sorry to hear that..” Teenage Daniel responded.

“Yeah, I-I just had a doctor’s appointment and it didn’t go well…they told me I had cancer and there wasn’t much they could do.” Tears started to well up in the elderly man’s eyes. “And, I’m here for some things that will make it easier for me, but I’m – I’m just scared.” The man was fighting to hold back tears now and the emotion was clear in his voice.

Teenage Daniel stood there for a second fighting back tears in his own eyes and trying to figure out the right words to say. Daniel remembered this interaction well and still kicked himself for not being able to do or say more but it has caught him so off guard that his brain had stopped working.

“I- I’m really sorry. I don’t know what to say, I-I can’t imagine going through what you are and I’m I wish you the best, I know it can’t be easy but I hope you have the support system in place to help you through it.”

The elderly man simply nodded his head, the emotions of the moment too much for words, but when he walked away he walked with a little more confidence, with a little more sturdiness.

“Are you ready?” Death asked.

“Did you ever come for him?” Daniel asked

“A few months after this interaction, his time ran out.”

“And?”

“He greeted me with open arms and as if reuniting with an old friend.” Death said. “He even spoke to me about you.”

“He did?” Daniel asked taken aback.

“Yes, as we were talking about his journey those last few months he mentioned the cashier from a local store and how much his words and his ear meant in the moment. He was scared and just needed someone to listen and you offered him that peace and he was able to take on the task with a little more faith after the moment you two shared. Have you figured it out yet?” Death asked.

“What?”

“Why I am showing you these moments in your life.” Death said

“No.” Daniel responded

“Seriously?” Death said. “One more then…I guess, the next person on the schedule is going to get a whole day extra at this point. But I really need to get through to you.”

When Death transported them again Daniel barely felt it and was able to take in his surroundings immediately, they were standing in front of the local food bank.

“This one I don’t think I need to show you anything, just the location. There is no moment you’ve spent here that is different from every other moment you’ve spent here but you volunteer here, once a week, you dedicate your time to help…in fact you were here just last night right?”

“Yeah, and lately I’d been spending even more time here with the holiday season fast approaching we were taking stock of our inventory and around this time we have a fundraising drive to make sure we are fully stocked through the holidays so we can help as many people as possible so we were preparing for that push.” Daniel said.

“Exactly you were giving up almost all of your free time to help prepare and plan for a holiday fundraiser to help those less fortunate…do you see what I’ve been trying to show you? Do you see all the good you’ve done?” Death asked.

“I helped out a few people, I don’t understand, It’s not like I found a cure for cancer, or ended wars, I didn’t change the world.” Daniel said.

“See, that’s where you are wrong. This is what I’ve been trying to show you, You may not have changed the world, but you changed your world and that’s all anyone can hope to do. For that classmate, you reached out a hand, for that elderly man, you lent him your ear, for the countless people you helped by dedicating your time…you changed their world. None of these things are earth shattering on their own, but if more people did them, they could be. My God, humans have the capabilities to do so much good in the world if only they chose to do so. You did your part, you lived a life full of connection and kindness, and the stories those who mourn you will tell will serve as a lesson to those still amongst the living to take the time they have and model it after the life you led. To go make their own connections, to build their own community, to lead with kindness and love, all because you once graced them with that kindness. You may not have felt like your life mattered in the grand scheme of things, but it will point hundreds of people in the direction of good, in the direction of kindness…and I’d say that you may have been one of the most important people to ever live.”

Daniel stood there with tears in his eyes. He felt a burden fall off of his soul and he felt light, and he felt warmth and he felt peace. Death waved a hand at the empty space in front of them and a door appeared.

“Behind this door is eternity, behind this door is rest and peace, go now Daniel and take your place in the pantheon of all those who came before you…you’ve done well.”

“Thank you.” Daniel said before walking up to the door, it opened at his touch and after taking one last moment to prepare himself he walked through the door leaving death standing by themselves.

Death stood there for a second and composed themselves, after centuries of doing this the goodbye was never easy, humans always thought so poorly of themselves, always thought that they didn’t do enough…but in all of this time, Death had never met someone who didn’t matter, who didn’t move the needle in some way. Every soul left a mark on the world. It was just up to the human to decide what kind. After a few seconds Death looked at their pocket watch and sighed. A full day late for their next appointment. Oh well, an extra day never hurt anyone after all.